Parenting 699

Spent the past week with my youngest, Evan, at home with Swine flu. It is interesting to watch people respond to hearing the news (everyone backs up). Poor guy suffered a low-grade fever all week, which broke yesterday. He has spent the past two days dealing with actual flu symptoms. The low point for one child parallels the high point of the older child. Ethan has become quite the thespian this year (MacBeth, Counsellor-at-Law, and An Enemy of the People). "Enemy" opened this week and he has enjoyed the run so far, with one more week of performances. His soccer team also won today's game (3-0 for the season). Throw in a birthday party for a friend this afternoon, and we have had a busy week.

I could have only imagined this life twelve years ago. We still lived at Miller School of Albemarle where I worked as an athletic director and college counselor. Ethan's arrival meant the world to us since we had had trouble getting pregnant. I told the nurses that they had to be crazy to send the little baby home with us since they did not know whether we could handle being parents; we had not passed any tests that qualified us for our new roles. They smiled and we brought Ethan home. My wife is a great parent and I am average. When they're sick, mommy needs to be the one to take care of them When homework needs attending to, mommy's more patient and helpful. I also do not do well with young children. My wife asked me one time why I could show so much patience with my college students but none with my sons, and I answered that I understood college students better (I also did not have to repeatedly say things to them to get work from them nor did I have to make sure they went to bed on time).

I wish I had been a better father early on because I am really enjoying my time with the boys right now. Ethan's quick wit and constant devotion (to everything) and Evan's intelligence and determination give me hope that our years ahead will be good ones. I am prepared for the day when my teenagers "hate" me but thanks to Miller School I know that is part of the learning curve. Today, while riding in the car, Evan attempted a math calculation with large numbers. He was wrong with the final answer but not by much and the formula he used was spot on. I smiled and noted how proud I was of him and his intelligence. But then I reminded him that he could not hold his math ability over his brother's head. He smiled and said he didn't understand why Ethan had trouble with math because it was easy. I reminded him that Ethan is the only one in our family who willingly stands on stage and performs for audiences. Evan said that acting was hard and I said "not to Ethan, so remember that when you want to give him a hard time about math."

I have wanted a manual since this parenting thing began but today shows why there is no manual: every child is unique and they develop at different rates, but each brings a gift/talent to the table and need to be appreciated for that simple fact. I am glad to be my sons' father.