Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Too Young

It has been a week of complex emotions and wild swings in one direction and then another.  Ten days ago we gave the go ahead to begin work on a major renovation to our home.  My dad is coming to live in the house with us and we are adding a full-bathroom to a bonus room that will be his space.  Nine days ago my oldest son began receiving texts from a friend that a mutual friend had a bad allergic reaction to cookies that contained peanuts.  Over the course of the next two days we learned that a bright, energetic fifteen-year-old was dead.  He was too young to die and my children were too young to have to deal with the reality of this fragile thing we call life.  They have lost a grandmother and a great-grandmother, but both of those loses, painful in other ways, were expected.  Our teenager learned last week about mortality, the swiftness of that moment when life is gone.

On Monday we attended the funeral service for the young man.  Our sons sat properly and respectively for the almost two hour service.  The young man's soccer teammates spoke eloquently, and the preachers spoke formulaically.  I know there is a victory in Jesus in some distant time and place, but I still want to know why this child and why now?  In the end, I must be satisfied that the family found comfort in the service, and we got to hug our children that night.

On Monday, immediately after the funeral, we attended our oldest son's "cross-over" ceremony as he completes eighth grade.  We are very proud of him.  He won an award for outstanding writing score in the state writing assessment.  He seems too young to enter high school.  I know intellectually that he is not too young, but this child we brought into the world fourteen years ago still wants his mother to scratch his back at night before bed, still hugs us when we say good-bye in public places, and still holds onto the power of the faith of the little children.  In the chaos of the ceremony, I could not help but think about how odd the day was --- the juxtaposition of the funeral to the celebration of achievement --- and how odd the past week has been --- changes in our house and family that keep us always looking forward to some future date and the reality that the present is all we are guaranteed.  Perhaps we are all too young for these reality checks but they happen anyway.  Perhaps this fragility reminds us that none of us are ever too young.